"A nervous scorpio? Well, you usually hide it so well but today your nerves threaten to get the better of you. You needn't worry about failure but do try and enjoy these challenges. You did, after all, set them up yourself."
My horoscope for today totally cracked me up. Hell yea, my perpetual laziness and unwillingness to do work/study has led to the inability to ace my exams..and for one paper, the threat of actually failing. But well, i'm gonna trust the stars if they are saying that i wont fail. hoho.
And by rich I mean, people's whose proclaimations of poverty are only times when they desire an expensive bag/shoe/makeup/rings etc; and when they rely heavily on parental donations for most of their activities, and any termination of such charity renders one incapable of survival. And by lazy I mean, the inability to put in 100% effort in anything they do. Rich people are lazy because they know that whatever they do, they have a free flow bank to fall back on. Even though this "bank" may not be part of the contingency plan, its the existence of it that gives consolation...and hence a lack of effort.
I may generalise, but I find this particularly true most of the time, especially for me. Yea I hate the fact that I'm rich, but before people start slapping my favourite phrase "the grass is always greener on the other side" in my face, I'm gonna admit that I am extremely thankful for being ever so inevitably wealthy. I can fail my exams and know that I will still get some sort of education that will secure my income for the rest of my life. And even if I dont, I'll have a hefty sum of inheritance (ok this is not the most morally right thing to say, but let's face it, it's true). I often say that being rich makes one unable to do what they want to do. At least from the perspective of a daughter/son. There are expectations that come with being rich--one should be part of the upper class, credit card colour wise, as well as physical wise. One needs to look the part, sound the part, and be the part. No dreadlocks, no piercings, no hippie slippers. Yes pretty shoes, yes pretty hair, yes expensive dress. No tiger beer, no loud manic laughter, no kitchen mess. Yes expensive (but horrible tasting) wine, yes refined laughter, yes maid (or just general neatness). But honestly, being rich (and having the comfort of knowing I'll always have money to fall back on), really gives me so many options. That is, I can fail my exams and know I can still do theatre. I can pass my degree and still know I can do another degree/diploma in something I love. I know I really dont have to work that hard, even if part of me wants to.
I guess I do sound like a complete brat, spoilt and pampered. But I thought I'd just share my latest revelations. And stop fighting the notion of money, and stop saying that I fucking hate it. Cos only with the excess of it can I convincingly say that I hate it. And yes I'm lazy. So very lazy.
Its all too familiar. Walking out of an examination hall and thinking.... "fuck 3 hour papers, i'm fucking starving!!"
But this is not the point of this post. I just thought I'd like to share my misery and hopefully garner some sympathy and possibly convince people who have the power to speak to god/devil/spirits/minions/trees etc, to GIVE ME ALL THEIR BLOODY LUCK AND CREATE SOME FUCKING MIRACLE NOW!!!!
yea. After all my whining in my 1st year and all hopes and dreams of failing it and returning to Singapore, the tables have turned. I am DYING to pass. I NEED to stay in England. Just when things are moving in the right path...(at least in my imagination), I DONT WANT TO BE BANISHED TO oh-dearest-lion-city. Sigh. Today's paper was pure shit. I need 37 marks to pass. And I cant tell you if I'm confident of that. Last year I had the privilege of a resit, but this year, the following options are available:
1. Retake the exams next summer. (i.e. take a year off and come back for the exams) 2. Be doomed to eternity in Singapore. 3. Sell my soul to the devil. 4. Sell my soul to my father.
Two down, three more to go.
And I'd just like to bitch about people who complain about failing, and then get As. Seriously. Some chick complained to me for god-knows-how-long about how she doesnt understand the "Monetary Union" chapter. And for god-knows-how-long, I havent got a clue which chapter deals with the monetary union. Until 12 hours before my paper, I saw--it's the second last chapter of the entire module. Seriously, she was thinking she's gonna fail cos she missed out the last two chapters!?!? I barely even got through halfway!!! Eventually, after the exam, she asked me how it was, and I said I honestly think I'm gonna fail. And she said, "no la, as long as you wrote something, they wont fail you." SERIOUSLY!?!?!?!?! you dont know what the fuck I wrote in my script, and neither do I. ARGH.
Anyway, he's a little treat for listening to my rants, that is if you got that far.
2008 Britian's Got Talent Winner. The song he used in his dance is now the number one hit on itunes, and on the radio. The British are really quite amusing.
