Profile
Full Name: Ho Xi Huei Vanessa
Race: Chinese
Height: 1.61m
Weight: 53kg
Vital Stats: i really dont know
Status: Single, Virgin
Educational status: High School, barely making it
Financial Status: Enough for myself to spend, unwisely
Type: Rebellious, un-conservative, non-subservient wife
Religion: Atheism
Habits: Farts, burps, talks to myself
Hobbies and Interests: Sex. Sodomy. Food. pleasure seeking activities
Skin colour: Brown
Eye colour: Black
Hair colour: Half black, half brown, with the brown part streaked with light brown
Nail colour: Toe nails are green. Fingernails have scraps of nail polish on them.
Body modification(s): 5 normal lope piercings, one tragus, one anti-tragus, one navel, and more to come
Message: Desperate for love, sex, marriage and kids. Lusty. I want a man with a huge dick, hot bod, and lots of love.

Application Form
Fill in the blanks.

Full Name:
Race:
Height:
Weight:
Vital stats (yes please):
(virginal)Status:
Educational status:
Financial status (hide anything and DIE):
Type (of spouse that is):
Religion:
Habits:
Hobbies and Interest:
Skin colour:
Eye colour:
Hair colour:
Nail colour:
Body modification(s):

Why are you applying:
What makes you a cut above the others:
So why should i choose you:
Yea anymore?:
What are you expecting from me:
Any other message:

P.S.Females are equally eligible, if not more.

Email completed forms to ho_xihuei@hotmail.com or just add in my comment box that says "Feed Me".
Deadline: til death do i part from this world (because of lack of love).

cheers.

If you will accept me for who i am, i will expose every single inch of myself. But i know you can't. So i'll just keep to myself, and you can fuck off from my life.




But i know it's just me.

PRIVATE LOVE BANK SEEKING KIND DONATIONS FROM PEOPLE WHO HAVE EXCESS TO GIVE.

CALL NOW AND YOUR LOVE WILL SPREAD FAR AND WIDE FOR A GOOD CAUSE.

DIAL 1900-911-LOVE-ME

DO NOT HESITATE.

PEOPLE ARE DESPERATE AND HUNGRY FOR LOVE, AND ONLY YOU CAN PROVIDE.

PLEASE DONATE GENEROUSLY.

THANK YOU, FOR YOUR LOVE.

I'll feed off you,
Like a blood-sucking leech
That is never satisfied.

I'll feed off you,
Like a new-born infant
Seeking familiarity (in this disfigured world.)

I'll feed off you,
Like a wilting poinsettia
Craving the next Christmas.

I'll feed off you,
Like a manic-depressive teenager
Deprived of Love.

I'll feed off you,
And give nothing--
Nothing in exchange.

Will you still give? Unconditionally?





analysis (?) upon request...

amazing. i took this test last year..and the results differed. posting again just for record.

anyway, i saw a fortune teller yesterday for $20. I'm gonna be a big boss with big bucks in a big company. I'll get married at age 28 to my 3rd boyfriend. ahha...and many others la. quite cool.

****READ ONLY IF YOU ARE OPEN MINDED ABOUT YOUR FAITH****

***I'M GIVING YOU ONE LAST CHANCE TO RECONSIDER YOUR RASH DECISION TO READ ON***


Ok cool. So you've made it. Anyway, second post in a day for 2 days. Definitely says something.

Right. It just dawned on my that hey, God, Jesus, and probably Mary does exist. Or rather, existed. I was just watching Discovery channel of Travel and Living, and they were showing Globe Trekker for Greece. They featured a little segment of something related to Jesus/God (sorry wasnt really following). And apparently Jesus/God recited the last book of the Bible there. And there were like proofs and stuff la (whether it's made up or not, it got me there). HENCE, I am convinced that hey, perhaps Jesus/God really did exist. BUT HEY. That means they are no longer around!!!! And me believing that really, there isnt such a thing as heaven or hell (well, metaphorically there is), Jesus/God is no longer around. And I really doubt that they're gonna sit in their lovely throne in heaven and spend all their time blessing us, pathetic human beings.

In case I wasnt clear enough (by now, if you cant accept calmly what i've just said, i'd strongly advice you to stop reading, for your own sake), I am saying that Jesus/God is long dead and gone. They have gracefully left us and is no longer coming back. What lives among us pathetic human beings is just the spirit of them. By spirit I mean the believe they once existed, and not that they are in the form of 'ghosts' floating around in the air blessing us, or sitting in their throne in heaven and pitying us. HENCE, what we humans (Christians only, actually) are doing/believing, IS DELUDING YOURSELVES. That God is still around to listen to your confessions and blah blah blah. Really, you guys are just talking to air to convince yourself that life isnt so bad.

MY POINT IS: LIFE IS HORRIBLE. LIFE SUCKS TO THE FULLEST THE MAX. LIFE WILL NEVER EVER BE GOOD. But look, that's life. If life doesnt suck, it's not life. And i cant find a term for that. Erm, how about delusion? Sounds good eh? For those who dont follow, here's a simple mathematical formula to make things simplier:

LIFE = SUFFERING
NO SUFFERING = HEAVEN = IMPOSSIBLE

Therefore, i seek to abolish the notion "Happy Christians", for it is really just "Deluded Christians". Besides, there are unhappy Christians too. HAH. GOTCHA THERE. It means that the religion is not so good a way out. The only way is to accept the fact that life is bad and that there isnt going to be a higher power to come save you. If the world is going to explode and die, human beings will be the root of it. I'm sorry that we wont be saved.

I'm going to stop here. Am not going to apologise this time cos you have been warned.
(OKOK!! I'm just gonna say it for those fools who read, Look, i respect you for your courage to find a sort of solace. I respect you that eventually you just want life to be good. But really, i dont need that kind of "help" so just dont preach ya? Dont go around with your "superior" Christian air thinking "I'm so great" cos you really arent. But i'm not saying i'm great and hence i dont go around imposing on others that i am ya? I'm happy, you're happy. World peace. Now leave me alone. oh and stop saying i wont be saved and i'll get gobbled up by devils or something. Cos it sounds quite appealing.)

Cheers.
AND HELL I WANT TO GO TO GREECE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. I still find it hard to fathom that Mary's a virgin...HOW CAN SHE MISS OUT THE EXCITING PART!?!?!?!

i'm hoping i'm not getting into trouble for what i'm gonna write...but really, i cant take it anymore.
i'm supposed to be on my way to the library now, but i couldnt resist blogging about what i read on today's Straits Times. Front Page.

It says something about fining and jailing people who cheat on bus fare and cab fare. Looks innocent at first glance eh? HELL NO. THE Singapore Government is going to fine up to $2000 for commuters who tap their ezlink cards way before their stop so as to pay a lesser fare. UH HUH. Look. I think it is perfectly fine. Cheat, you go to jail, and pay up, damnit. But hey, look who was the one who implemented THE ezlink card eh? Easy right? Easy to make sure people pay the full fare. Easy so the bus driver dont have to remember all the fares. Easy TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE DONT CHEAT RIGHT!?!?! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! GOTCHA. NOW PEOPLE ARE CHEATING BECAUSE YOU ARE SUCH A LOSER!!! ahem. sorry. lost my cool there. But seriously, dont you think it's really pathetic? Apparently SBS is losing about $9 million dollars a year if i remember correctly. All i can say is, look, bloody hell live with it. We're humans. We all want to look for loop holes in systems so we can make our lives easier! (And that we also get a sense of triumph by doing so but that's beside the point)

Anyway, another point is that dont they realise who are the ones who are cheating on bus fares??? I seriously dont think it's the working class. Or at least the majority is not made up by them. Neither is it students cos we pay students' fare (well, at least for jcs...) It is the eldery who are doing so. And i dont blame them. Firstly, it is in their nature. They grew up paying 5 cents for a bowl of noodles. Now they pay, say $1 for a bus ride. They simply cant accept the change. And i believe that MOST of them live in not so good conditions, otherwise, they wont be taking the public transport, aye? NOW, you want to charge these ole folks $2000 AND JAIL THEM JUST COS THEY WANT TO SAVE A FEW CENTS!?!?!?!?!? I'm sorry, but i really dont know where to find the respect for you.

I'm fine with the cabby cheaters, cos they are truly bullies. But i really dont see why such harsh measures for bus-fare-cheating-oldies. I really think its funny, pathetic, and utterly shameful.

God Bless Me that i dont get to jail for this. It is freedom of speech anyway. If you cant take critical comments (maybe slightly bias, cos hey, we're humans alright), then forget it. relinguish your bloody seat. stop waving your power around like a trophy that you happen to pick from the ground.



cheers to the bus-fare-cheating-oldies, and god bless me.

We enter the world alone, and leave it, alone as well. So why the fuck do we have so many interuptions, unnecessary responsibilities that make you leave life, sad and alone. (It is just like excessive fat that must be removed to prevent coronary heart disease!!)

The only way to reduce traffic conjestion is to make half the country work/be active at night.

There's nothing that cant be described by words 'cos there's a word "ineffable" which means "too great or beautiful to be described by words".

By replacing the hair cells on your head by the hair cells on your armpit, your hair will grow MUCH faster.

I wonder what is the use for the little gaps in between cubicles, at the bottom. To pass tissue paper in case it runs out?


As you can see, i'm bored. i've given up. and faced the reality that there is a huge chance i wont be able to do what i want in life. so there's really no point in me mugging so hard. (although i know eventually i'll work for my As. but without a motivation, i really wonder how long i will sustain.)

Father just reminded me that if i have a CV that says i graduated from LSE (that's London School of Economics,my child) with a double degree in Mathematics and Economics, it's guaranteed that i'll get a job. And he offered to show me my aunt's CV (she just graduated with the above stated qualifications. yes. ex-RJC girl.)

How subtle can it get, that my dreams are already shattered. With its shards deeply engraved in me.

If i could, i'll be an anime/manga artist. or simply a cartoonist.

It's painful to see dreams go by. It is.

I want the stage name Bianca.

Her handphone beeps. Its the latest tone she switched it to--simply a low key, beep. She jumps to the soft beep, (her jump being relatively unproportionate to the weak beep) and snatches the phone ferociously from its innocent stand -- in mixed emotions.

It's from him. She smiles in relief. She's not being ignored, thankfully, as she's supposed to be the one ignoring.

Reading his message (oh hell, can't he call!?!?!), an obviously unsatisfactory reply to her minute demands, the end of her lips succumb to gravity. She grits her teeth. Her muscles tense. She pouts an angry pout and takes a deep breath, then mutters through her clamped teeth, "Bastard.."

Seizing this god given golden opportunity, she puts her handphone back on the stand, and gives a triumphant sneer -- for having the chance to ignore him. Lord, such dominance is simply sweeet.

Jumping back into bed, this time with a leap of triumph, she starts thinking how unfair it is. How she has put so much effort into this much frowned upon relationship by others, but yet, all he gave was effort into coming up with flowery language, but no action. She wittingly, in a fit (literally, fit) of anger, labels him NATO : No Action Talk Only. He should feel damned honoured to have such a title that fits him like skin.


I recline in my sandbag and revel in this childish exchange of emotions that's going through my best friend -- all envious.



Thanks mint for the inspiration! wahaha..bet you found somethings familiar.
Anyway, would like to remind you guys that hey, most (though not all) of the emotions are fabricated, much to your dismay.

Naked
in a freezing movie theatre.
I cuddle in the cotton chair hoping to gain some -- comfort.
A light brush with his arm gave a sensation -- Warmth. I back off, immediately, while trying not to arouse suspicion. I back off, for fear of addiction. Arms crossed before my chest, palms furiously rubbing my arms as an alternate means and compromise for Warmth. And henceforth, slumping back into the desperate attempt to numb my mind.

He leans over to ask "What the fuck's happening?" after dozing off a bit, and I seize the opportunity, losing myself, to gain some Warmth by leaning closer to say "I think it's..." -- the closeness of his face made me smile inside, the closeness of his face captured me, the closeness of his face just made me, Lost -- I don't know. I shrug. And tear myself from this opium. Hell. I swallow past this dry lump in my throat with much efforts, feeling the gulp of saliva travel down my gullet or whatever that tube is called.

I press my shoulders backwards to feel the rough cotton of the cinema chairs, in a desperate attempt for a temporal relief. Sinking myself in it provided some sort of comfort, until i accidently brush past his arm again. I sucked in a shot of air and held it there as I retreated once again and continued to feel the chill in the theatre.

The tears that forms freeze even before they exit my tear ducts.

My lips are pursed.

Naked.

If only my piercings loved me back.

Be with me, my beloved, Love.

"Love is an illusion, but I would willingly fall for it if I could believe in it."

Sometimes i feel good feeling like this, but most of the time, it just sucks.

My father really had no clue i want to do theatre in university. i hope he's giving some thought into it now.

I'm. Fucking. Serious.

Really. Apparently it's rude and not elegant.

I seriously thought it was a form of self-expression.

HEH. This is wrong.

I either pierce my nose without asking and getting a hell of a thrashing after that,
or ask and not get permission to do so and live forever in suppression.

I choose the former.

to hell, singapore.

Ecole de Mime Corporel Dramatique and the Theatre de l'Ange Fou
Ecole de Mime Corporel Dramatique and the Theatre de l'Ange Fou
Ecole de Mime Corporel Dramatique and the Theatre de l'Ange Fou
Ecole de Mime Corporel Dramatique and the Theatre de l'Ange Fou
Ecole de Mime Corporel Dramatique and the Theatre de l'Ange Fou
Ecole de Mime Corporel Dramatique and the Theatre de l'Ange Fou

THE ECOLE DE MIME CORPOREL DRAMATIQUE AND THE THEATRE DE L'ANGE FOU!!!!!

It is a (fucking) MIME SCHOOL!!!!
Created in 1984 by the last assistants of Etienne Decroux: Steven Wasson and Corinne Soum, and relocated in London in 1995. Totally international, the school offers a three year, full time professional diploma programme. (in movement/mime theatre)

"Students will develop their dramatic vocabulary aimed towards a corporal vision of theatre. This gestural grammar encompasses body articulation, the study of counterweights, walks and displacements in space, figures of style, mobile statuary, dynamism and musicality of movement."

ECOLE DE MIME CORPOREL DRAMATIQUE
AND
THEATRE DE L'ANGE FOU
Unit 207, Belgravia Workshop, 157-163 Marlborough Road, London N19 4NF. U.K
Tel-Fax: (44) 0207 263 9339
Email: infoschool@angefou.co.uk

AND IT"S IN BLOODY LONDON!!!!!!!!! *faints and dies*

THIS.IS.MY.ULTIMATE.DREAM!!!!

I've just sent in a request for the application form and all the brochures they have so that i can drool over,
knowing full well the objection i'm going to face with my parents, extended family, and unrelated people.

and here, i'd like to quote ana: "this is damn unfair, dont you think. do you know how hard it is for pple to find something they love? everyone should be given a right to pursue whatever they love, no matter how ridiculous, and no matter how clueless they are."

haha, thanks ana.

*grins widely from ear to ear*

please dont shatter this for me--not yet, not just yet.