Manual for the perfect British slang:

1. It's "bAllocks", not "bOllocks". It literary means "balls". Like, testicles. Yes.
2. Toilet roll is never toilet roll, it's called "Bug Roll".
3. Words like "good", "great", "nasty", "disgusting" dont exist. It's either "awesome", "excellent", or "awful". And THE way to pronouce those words is AAWWWEEEsome. Drag the "aw" and little emphasis on the "some". That's it.
4. Never greet people with "Hello". ALWAYS, without fail, greet people with "You alright?". And you have to pronounce it, "youral right?"
5. Never say goodbye with "bye". ALWAYS, say, "Cheers, mate."
6. The phrase "Thank you" doesnt exist. It's "Cheers, mate."
7. It's "arse", not "ass".


Cheers, mate.

Just came back on a windsurfing trip/festival. Will update as soon as I am awake.