Friday, January 21, 2005

Medusa

current obsession: spades
current song: Good Charlotte's I just wanna live and Evanescence's Missing



Is Love just a chemical reaction?






currently? i'm not in love.

mother found out about my navel piercing today.
surprised she knew what it was.
though she thought the stud will be stuck there for life.
and she didnt believe that the piercing will be gone after around 3 years.
scolded the shit hell outta me.

shopped for cny today at orchard.
mainly Tangs and Isetan.
bought about $350 worth of clothes,
which i think are rather hard to match.
sheesh.

was in a huge dilemma between 3 different cut FCUK jeans...
ended up with the odd one out.
though i really wanted the other one too.
but well, each of them costs $159.
could only choose one.
and i had to choose the boyish one with a weird colour and cut.
hard to match.
shall save up for the other nice smooth comfy one.

i want a nice make up kit.
stupid councillors lost my $39 red earth smokey eye palette.
depressed.
sigh.
the thought of it pains me.
sob.

i wanna learn latin jazz dance.

i wanna learn spanish.

i wanna get resources for my I.S. for commedia dell' arte.

i wanna go columbia and take theatre.

i wanna kill my parents.

i wanna remain single and adopt children.

i wanna migrate to spain.

i wanna good bod.

i want to die thinking i've lived a wonderful life.

i really want to.


Off that landspit of stony mouth-plugs,
Eyes rolled by white sticks,
Ears cupping the sea's incoherences,
You house your unnerving head -- God-ball,
Lens of mercies,
Your stooges
Plying their wild cells in my keel's shadow,
Pushing by like hearts,
Red stigmata at the very center,
Riding the rip tide to the nearest point of
departure,

Dragging their Jesus hair.
Did I escape, I wonder?
My mind winds to you
Old barnacled umbilicus, Atlantic cable,
Keeping itself, it seems, in a state of miraculous
repair.

In any case, you are always there,
Tremulous breath at the end of my line,
Curve of water upleaping
To my water rod, dazzling and grateful,
Touching and sucking.
I didn't call you.
I didn't call you at all.
Nevertheless, nevertheless
You steamed to me over the sea,
Fat and red, a placenta

Paralyzing the kicking lovers.
Cobra light
Squeezing the breath from the blood bells
Of the fuchsia. I could draw no breath,
Dead and moneyless,

Overexposed, like an X-ray.
Who do you think you are?
A Communion wafer? Blubbery Mary?
I shall take no bite of your body,
Bottle in which I live,

Ghastly Vatican.
I am sick to death of hot salt.
Green as eunuchs, your wishes
Hiss at my sins.
Off, off, eely tentacle!

There is nothing between us.

-Sylvia Plath Medusa

basically referring to her mother.
been studying Plath so pardon for the flood of her poems.
(and pardon me for bolding every last stanza.
i just love nice endings.)
amazing woman.
sets me thinking.
sets arika thinking who sets me thinking.
heh.
*sayang my brain*

i kinda like to write in this random way.
yay.
good for me.
screw sentence structure and grammer.
die gp DIE.







there's something missing in my life now but i just cant point it out.

there's so much i want in my life i dont know where to start finding them.

but...

vane farted at 11:31 PM